Sharker - first of all, take a look at the title of this thread. You're expressing anger - and that's understandable but it's not gonna resolve anything. Your neighbor is, from the sounds of things, a grouchy and lonely little old woman. And people past the age of 70, from what little I know, they tend to not like change. At all. So maybe she's angry at the world in general. Maybe she doesn't like being old. Maybe she wants to see her friends more often because she's worried about them - maybe they're old, too. I don't know. Whatever her reasons are, it doesn't excuse her behavior - but it could provide you an opening. Listening might really be your best weapon. You say that she wants your family to move out so that her friends can visit more often - but what if your family were to visit her?

My suggestion is this: Offer her kindness. Repeatedly. Start small. Does she need help with gardening or anything? If you're on your way to the store, ask if there's anything you could pick up for her. I know it's not likely to be an idea that appeals to anyone right away but the potential is there, you know? Maybe all she wants is someone other than her daughter for company. Maybe you'd eventually get her pause and realize that you're not bad people.

If nothing else, if all the neighbors can actively see you being kind and her being a grouch - that should give them pause, before taking any of her biased remarks seriously.

Especially from recent expereinces here, I know that it's absolutely no fun to be wrongly accused. It makes you feel unwelcome and unappreciated and insecure. To be made to feel that way in your own home... I can't imagine. So I sincerely hope that your situation improves.

Positive energy to your landlord, as well. Dealing with cancer is enough of a challenge. Here's hoping he beats the disease.

Hey, no worries. As long as you've made the effort to be nice then you have no reason to apologize. But wow... Jeez... Pardon my saying so but from the way you describe things... that whole situation sounds more than a bit messed up. The lady must be lonely, if she is willing to take back an ex-boyfriend AND his new girl, too. Cripes. No wonder she's kinda mean and grumpy.

You know, situation that ridiculous... You could write a sitcom based on that. Or a manga.

Realize though: the being nice idea wasn't just for her sake, it was also for your own. If you go around feeling angry all the time because of this, that's understandable - but miserable, right? If you act all upset and defensive around everyone, that takes a lot of energy and stops you from focusing on more positive things. Which in turn affects how other people percieve you.

So... if you can't get rid of your enemy by making friends with them... Then find a way to laugh, instead.

From my own experience, I know this to work. People used to tell me that I was going to hell quite often. When I reacted with anger or sadness, that empowered the bullies and they just picked on me more. But when I started smiling at them and enthusiastically saying things like "are you sure? can I have that in writing?" or "thanks!" - my happiness made them uncomfortable and didn't give them the control they were seeking, so they gradually left me alone. I had to be persistant and sincere about it - but it worked. *shrugs*

Hey Sharker. It's your old pal Halo here If I can offer some loving advice here to ya right now, man, I'd like to. And this is what I have to say about the situation. And you know me. I listen to God, so I'm just gonna tell you what he tells me about the sitch, ya know? Cuz that's the only way I know how to deal with it. On God's terms. It may or may not be right for you. But it works for me. And you can use it, or dismiss it entirely. Either way, it won't hurt my feelings. And at the end of the day, you and me, we're still friends, right? Cuz this is just my opinion. Nothing more, nothing less, right? I'd never try to force anything on you. This is just me talking, okay?

Sometimes people are just evil, Sharker, and they set out to hurt other people. When they get that mindset, it's really hard to fight them. Believe me, I know. Here just recently, someone decided they were going to hack my email and hurt me. They sent dirty, nasty emails to RVD and made him believe they were from me, and they weren't. I guess he was just so disgusted by them that he didn't even want to talk to me about them. I knew he was mad at me and hurt about something, so I kept asking him "what's wrong, what's wrong", but he wouldn't answer me. So whoever set out to hurt me, for whatever reason they wanted to hurt me, was successful, weren't they.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that sometimes people are just SO EVIL that they are going to do their damage and there is just nothing you can really do about it except hope for the person who is getting hurt to see thru what is being done and give you the benefit of the doubt. Trust you enough to know that you would never do that. And hope once they find out the truth, care enough about you and your friendship to extend a hand and say "I know it wasn't you, and we're cool just like we always were". Is that too much to ask?

I guess what I'm saying is that if someone REALLY REALLY wants to hurt you, Sharker, unfortunately, they are gonna do it, and evil will prevail and there's nothing you can do if the other person won't stick up for you. I know it hurts, buddie. Just do the best you can, and keep rockin on with yourself. But for whatever it's worth, I know you're a good person, and you ALWAYS got me, Halochild, on your side.

I love you, man!

Halochild

I think I understand the extent of the meanness these people have done to you and your family, Sharker. And I know you are extremely hurt. I mean, OUCH, man that shit stings, don't it? And I've been thinking a lot about you since I read your messages asking for help and about whatever I could do for you. From my experiences and things that have happened to me, and how I would handle it if it were me myself. Here's what I think.

You've really only got two options. One, try to get the law to help you out. You and your family go to the police and file a police report telling them every single nasty thing these people have ever done to you. You and your fam may need to sit down and take some time first and make a list before you go. Take it with you. The police will give you a "case number", or a "police report number". It will take a day or so for them to get the report typed up. Go back to the police in a day or two and get a copy of that report. Take it to the Judicial Comissioner's Office and ask for a Restraining Order against these people. Tell the Commissioner that you want them RESTRAINED from harassing you, yelling at you, poisoning your animals, making negative statements about you to anyone else, etc. If the Commissioner grants you a court date, you and your family will go to court and get a Restraining Order against these people. Then, if they do any of their nasty shit ONE MORE TIME, you call the police, and they GO TO JAIL on the spot.

The only other option you have, Sharker, my friend, is for you and your family to just move. I know that's a big decision, but if these EVIL ASS people are causing you this much pain in your lives, and they are not going to stop . . . LEAVE. You've heard that expression "find your happy place". Where you are now is definitely NOT your happy place. You said you and your family are renting, so you wouldn't have to sell your house or anything. Maybe it is time for a change, and God is trying to tell y'al it's time to go. Ya know, I got someone RIGHT HERE AT THIS WEBSITE that wants to hurt me. I have no idea who it is, or why they want to hurt me. Since I can't stop them, and I'm powerless against their evil, I made the decision to leave. It was just making me too unhappy to be here. The only way I have any power against whoever is trying to hurt me is if RVD himself will believe in me and stand up for me. Then I know they can't hurt me because he refuses to believe their lies against me. And I've left a request for him to do that for me.

I hope this has helped you some, Sharker. I would leave my phone number for you, man, but it's just not safe for me. But you can talk to me here anytime, k?

Halo

. . .

Teehee, I thought you might get a good laugh out of this, Sharker! haha! But, for realsies, j/k.