Please excuse me for stepping in here.
I have dealt with issues of anxiety and esteem in the past. It is not an easy thing to overcome - but it CAN be overcome. If your family and friends can not support you in dealing with this, please find someone who will. This kind of habit often requires some help to break. If you can not afford - or do not trust - doctors and counselors... Find someone to listen and bounce ideas off of, at least. Maybe a trusted friend that you call regularly or go grocery shopping with, it doesn't even have to be a formal club or anything.
However the commitment to change, that is something that no one else can make for you. So you do have to be willing and able to look inside yourself, ask some tough questions and have the courage to answer those questions honestly. There are all kinds of easy do-it-at-home therapies out there these days. Some people find it helpful to keep a journal. Some people take up exercise routine or become artists or listen to music or change their diet - the foods that you eat can affect your body chemistry and also your mood, after all. Are you getting enough sleep? Are you staying hydrated? Are you low on any key vitamins? When was the last time you were hugged?
Please get hugged as soon as possible.
So whatever you do... Just do something. If you are truly ready for change - then start changing. Each person has their own path. The only way to find your own path is to start the journey, you know? One change at a time, it helps them feel less trapped, helps them examine the roots of their panic. Bear in mind the roots are not always just mental and emotional, there is nearly always a physical effect as well. This is why it can sometimes be hard to overcome the challenge - think of happiness as a muscle for a moment. You have to use it or lose it, yea? If you have been using the anxiety muscles instead... Then that is what's going to be stronger, right? It can take some time, to properly build up your resisitance and get switched over...
Lavendar scent is known to be a powerful anti-anxiety remedy. Citrus scent is considered a mood lifter. Dark chocolate - in moderation - is proven to make you happy. Perhaps keep these things handy, if they work for you.
And then go join or start a laugh club. Laughter really is the best medicine, sometimes.
Reading may also be of some use to you. Perhaps you will find experiences that you can relate to or insights that help you. There is no end of literature out there... Why People Don't Heal and How They Can by Dr. Caroline Myss has helped some people I know. *shrugs*
But then again, so have the websites of nothing but cute photos such as: http://cuteoverload.com/2011/01/01/top-ten-photos-of-2010/
Excuse me if any of this sounds harsh, by the way. That is not my intention. I am just concerned. Please keep taking care and feel free to speak to us here, if you want. I hope that you will find your way past this anxiety.